i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize