All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
