Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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