good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
