My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
vagina is talking i cant
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
