he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
