And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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