a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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