drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
