bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
