Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
