Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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