The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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