my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
