Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize