I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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