Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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