There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
