You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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