I like to think it a success when the cops are called
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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