i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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