i just google imaged poop.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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