i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
they need to just BURY HIM!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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