He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
