I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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