O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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