If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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