I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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