I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
