You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize