I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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