I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
