I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
