I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
