Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
