Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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