It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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