so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
