Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
