Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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