i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
