nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
