need another drink. this is the easiest way
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
