my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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