Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
