I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
