From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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