Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
