What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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