I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
