Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
