can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
