Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
