bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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