Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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