we made out on top of his cat.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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