Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
