I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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