his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
