I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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