"it" just moved
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
