im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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