i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Houston, we have a squirter
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
