Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
