i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
