If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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