I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
