Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize