Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
