This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
