Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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