I hope mine doesn't look like that
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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