im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Randomize
