I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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