my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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