I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
